How lame

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Waste of Space

I am currently paying heavily for my previous week of no sleep, too much caffeine and not taking care of myself. I literally could not get my poor body out of bed on Friday until 5 PM. It just wasn't even a choice. I did however make it to a Borat showing at 6:30 only to laugh my ass off then come back home and cash out again.
Saturday I mean to get up to watch our football game. I instead was able to get out of bed at 3:00 which at least meant that I could watch the Ohio State/MI game (oh boy)! Now I have to go to the grocery store. Not only to satisfy my craving for OJ, but because I have to make 2, yes 2, turkeys for our AIESEC Thanksgiving tomorrow. FOr the past 3 years, I have been in charge of the turkey and I am slightly concerned about who will take over this epicurean delight, but when duty calls, I'm sure someone will answer. In any case, I am not concerned about actually making my turkeys tomorrow, but I'm slightly concerned about getting up in time tomorrow to actually make them!

Just Breathe

Hurtling 100 mph ahead without slowing to think is usually how people describe my driving style, but right now, it seems to be my lifestyle. Hell Week. Everyone knows the term, everyone forgets how bad it is until it hits. Haven't slept in what feels like ages with no sight of my bed in the near future, but it's all good. Why you ask? Because it seems like everyone in Madison right now is just as out of control as I feel right now so when I've been at the library until 2,3,4 am, it's all good because the place is packed and misery sure as hell does love company. Heading to a free dinner than back to my favorite library haunt- good old Helen C. Gotta get it all in before I graduate!
Oh, and in my overtired stupor today, I went to Hoofers to check out information about the winter break ski trip to Steambout. Just looking for info. Oh no. The woman tells me that there are only 10 spots let and all of a sudden, my credit card is out on the counter and I'm sign away my life. I know one person going. Out of 200. Awessssssoooome. The thoughts of me rushing down the slopes at 100 mph are keeping me plugging away at the books.

Confusion, Frustration

I feel like I've been going through a bit of an identity crisis right now. Life feels to be moving very quickly and I'm starting to feel very unsure of myself, which if you know me, is not normal. Because of various recent events and not having time to really process my feelings before being thrown back into face them head-on, I realized tonight after talking with Jill and later talking with my dad that I'm not in the healthiest state of mind. For various reasons, I feel like I've forgotten that I have good qualities. Brokeback might deny that they exist, but my dad reminded me tonight that I do have good attributes. Unfortunately, I feel like my flaws have been highlighted and flaunted for me both by people that I'm not close with and by people that I am close with. That's hard when you're not reminded that sometimes you do things okay as well.
I've never been one to really need people to hold my hand and pat me on the back when I've done something well, but it's nice to be reminded occasionally, especially when you've taken an emotional and professional beating. I've also never really been one to acknowledge when I'm bothered by things/people which ends up with things getting bottled in. I guess blogging is kind of therapeutic in that respect because when i had my mini melt down today, my first thought was to blog.
In any case, I hate sounding like 'whoah is me', but I just need to take care of myself a bit which I now realize. I'm confused with who I am and what I want to do with my life (also not normal) and I need to figure out how to get that confidence back. Thanksgiving will hopefully be good for that, but it'll have to be more than that. I hate when my dad is right in regards to my life/emotional state because that usually means the solution isn't simple.
At least mom's care package toda had pumpkin bread which should definitely help. And at least the Democrats have taken America back. Skol Jim Doyle and the rest of my favorite Dems!